bouncing babies!

The day before my exam, and I am up at 06:45 to go to work - a day as the sole paediatric doctor on the postnatal ward. Our hospital serves an area of London (Tower Hamlets, Hackney and Newham) that boasts Britain's highest birth rates (or for full figures, go to the Mayor of London's website and download 'Borough Fertility Rates'), but I have never felt it quite like I did today. Once again the ward was full, with the overspill housed on the antenatal ward. The spectre of having to do 20 baby checks (mind-numbingly boring after the first 5 minutes; also think: vernix, wee, poo and baby sick) all by myself loomed large.
[baby count: 2]
Imagine my delight when an unsuspecting Swedish elective medical student pitches up at 9 o'clock. "I have to do 4 baby checks," he says, anxiously. Well, you've sure come to the right place, I think to myself. From my previous experience of teaching medical students (teaching them how to examine a breast and then letting them clerk in breast cancer patients), having a medical student actually doubles the time it takes to complete the task. But I enjoy it - I like to think it is not because it makes me feel important. I guess it's nice to have some company (and be outnumbered by midwives about 10 to 2 instead of 10 to 1) and it makes me think about why each step in the baby check (or Routine Neonatal Examination) is important, because I quiz the med students about it (and then embarrass myself when I don't have all the answers, like how long it takes for a Mongolian Blue Spot to fade). Well, he was pretty good, he got the hang of it after just one demonstration, and then was able to help me out.
[cumulative baby count: 6]
A couple of our Native medical students turned up an hour later, in their usual inappropriate attire (large dangly jewellery and !nail extensions!). I have tried to shake my negative impression of the students from our local med school ever since the Fetal Haemoglobin incident (which Ching can tell you about), but have not so far succeeded. If this had been Edinburgh, we would've run out of babies to examine by then, but as we have an unceasing supply (the moment you discharge a baby, a new mother and baby appear in their place. Literally.), these stragglers had plenty of babies to try their hand on. I resisted the urge to chuck the long-nailed student out of the room. They each examined 4 babies, and I signed them off for a job fairly adequately (if incredibly inefficiently) done. I had to secretly go back and redo the ones seen by the long-nailed girl, though.
[cumulative baby count: 14 ]

After lunch, I went over to the Neonatal Unit in search of the registrar to ask his advice about a couple of things from the morning. Instead, I found yet another medical student, who was desperate to fill his baby check quota. 4 medical students in one day?!? This was becoming like ER. He seemed like the keen sort, so I brought him over to the postnatal ward. After 2 babies, I said he could go if he liked, but he said he wanted to do the antanatal ward ones too.
[cumulative baby count: 18]

And that is how I examined 18 babies with the help of 4 medical students.