I love being a doctor but...

Feeling a bit jaded and tired; I guess that's why I haven't posted much lately. One of my resolutions (I know it's February, call it a Chinese New Year resolution then) is to be less scruffy for work. My current work attire is either too-big scrubs (even 'Xtra Small' is massive on me) and trainers (when on the neonatal unit or on nights), or a 3/4 sleeved V or round-necked stretchy top (no ironing!) with wide-legged trousers (usually with fraying hems or a couple of rips in the bottom) and cheap 'n nasty loafers. Oh, and I seldom get time to even comb my hair (just tie it back), never mind put on proper makeup in the mornings. Hardly wear my contact lenses either. Now I'm not one for placing much importance on appearances (as you can tell), but even I think I'm starting to cross the line (to 'unkempt') here, and it does reflect the inner goings-on....

This commuting to work + Band 2A rota (i.e. up to 72 hours a week, and on call 2 in 5 weekends) have completely sapped all but Work from my life. There's barely time to eat or sleep adequately. I suppose if one commutes an hour and a half each way, that's 15 hours each week (21 hours if I am working the weekend as well), or, 2 whole working days. Think of all the things you could do with 15 hours a week! That's what I had before (with my 20min cycle each way, that doubled as exercise), and I miss it sorely. I love medicine and am lucky enough to be pursuing my childhood ambition and all that, but I don't think I can live like this for much longer. (Good thing I will be working within walking distance of my flat, and on a 2B rota come March!)

Speaking of which, I had a phonecall from work this morning - one of my colleagues (on the same rota) was found dead at home yesterday evening. I don't know any further details, but if it wasn't an accident I'm sure the stress of this job wouldn't have been helping.